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katherine

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[10 Mar 2004|12:42pm]
I HAVE NEVER
(_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN DRUNK
(_) I HAVE NEVER SMOKED POT
(_) I HAVE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I HAVE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) I HAVE NEVER CRASHED A FRIENDS CAR
(x) I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(_) I HAVE NEVER RIDDEN IN A TAXI
(_) I HAVE NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX
(_) I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN DUMPED
(x) I HAVE NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(x) I HAVE NEVER BEEN FIRED
(_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(_) I HAVE NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(_) I HAVE NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENTS' HOUSE
(_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(x) I HAVE NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(x) I HAVE NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(_) I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(_) I HAVE NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(x) I HAVE NEVER STOLEN SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(x) I HAVE NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
(_) I HAVE NEVER GONE ON A BLIND DATE
(_) I HAVE NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(_) I HAVE NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(x) I HAVE NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(_) I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
(_) I HAVE NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) I HAVE NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(x) I HAVE NEVER CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE
(x) I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX AT THE OFFICE
(x) I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN MARRIED
(x) I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN DIVORCED
(x) I HAVE NEVER HAD CHILDREN
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[28 Feb 2004|01:20am]
whenever you're around, i can't even look at you. if i dare to let my gaze drift across your face, i'm terrified i won't be able to look away. sometimes while you're not paying attention i try to sneak a glance and my entire world disappears, all i see is your bright blue eyes and your flyaway hair and that smile that could melt glaciers. i think you're the most beautiful person i've ever seen. and your laugh is like music to my ears.

so i don't know why it's so scary to be around you. i always feel like i have to have my guard up, like one slip and you'll disappear from my life forever. i don't know what i'd do without your smile. it's not even that i want anything more than to see that smile. i start cracking the stupidest jokes and rambling on the stupidest topics for that one split second high when your laugh spills out across the room.

i wish i hadn't been too chicken shit to tell you any of this until you were already taken

ain't that the way.
5 comments|post comment

[07 Feb 2004|10:45pm]
ok i admit that i've been drinking an awful lot lately. it hasn't reached the problem stage though. it's somewhere around the "cheaper than vicodin" stage.

now that i'm suitably drunk let's continue with another silly survey :) Read more...Collapse )
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[03 Feb 2004|06:13pm]
okay, there's no point in having a livejournal if i'm never going to update it.

i broke my leg last week... it was really a stupid thing, running down stairs away from an exboyfriend while drunk, i don't recommend it to anyone who is considering doing the same. i've been trying to think of a better story to tell everyone who asks. rian came up with a decent suggestion, designed to fend off further question: "i broke it whilst kicking the ass of someone who was poking their nose into my business."

the day before the leg-breaking, i broke up with marlaina. this time for good. (no, seriously!) i just can't deal with the hypocrisy anymore. everyone should be more upfront with what they're thinking. like if she doesn't want an open relationship that would be fine, but she shouldn't carry on as though she does and then get mad at me for actually acting on it. this is just one example out of a lot... she's a great girl and she taught me a lot over the years, but i think we've just reached fundamentally different points in our lives.

so now i am single with a broken leg. i don't know what else to say... hm.

how are you?
11 comments|post comment

[16 Jan 2004|10:37am]
there is this meme going around with US states... but since i haven't been to many states, i did it with provinces instead. thanks for the idea elsabet

BRITISH COLUMBIA / ALBERTA / SASKATCHEWAN / MANITOBA / ONTARIO / QUEBEC / NEWFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOR / NEW BRUNSWICK / PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND / NOVA SCOTIA / NUNAVUT / YUKON TERRITORY / NORTHWEST TERRITORIES

i think some traveling is in order
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[12 Jan 2004|12:26pm]
p.s. genesm... Как дела?
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[07 Jan 2004|08:27pm]
whew... i have been offline for a good long time. some friends and i went to edmonton for new year's. it probably wasn't worth the long trip, but we had fun anyway. and i got snow for my birthday! (thanks mellybrelly for the wellwishes!)

everything has been hectic. i'll update later maybe. in the meantime have a happy new year...
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[29 Dec 2003|02:13am]
how often do you really consider the consequences of your actions?

i used to be so impulsive. it's incredible. marvel i'm not dead.
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[27 Dec 2003|12:58am]
well damn.

say you're at a party. and you're hanging out with someone you're really interested in, and they keep throwing you huge hints they're interested in you too. then on their way out the door they slip their number into your hand and say, "phone me and we'll hang out sometime."

how long should you wait before you phone them? or should you phone them?

ahhh! i am so inexperienced
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[26 Dec 2003|01:34pm]
First best friend: anya...
First real memory of something: being on an airplane. i think it was from moscow to minsk when i was three but i don't remember very well. my ears were hurting and i was screaming bloody murder
First date: nothing interesting
First real kiss: alex
First break-up: alex
First job: i worked at the library when i was 13
First self purchased album: red hot chili peppers... i forget which one, though
First funeral: my grandfather's
First pets: i was never allowed to have pets
First piercing/tattoo: i got my ears pierced when i was 12
First true love: probably alex, but who knows
First enemy: i don't have enemies
First big trip: to minsk
First play/musical/performance: i was cinderella in the school play when i was 8
First musician you remember hearing in your house: no idea

Last cigarette: six months ago
Last big car ride: a month ago
Last good cry: yesterday
Last library book checked out: some art history book
Last movie seen: lord of the rings
Last beverage drank: water
Last food consumed: wild rice
Last crush: ...
Last phone call: michel
Last tv show watched: i can't remember
Last time showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: my poor old knee-high boots
Last cd played: the white stripes, elephant
Last item bought: someone's christmas present, i'm sure
Last annoyance: i think i'm catching cold
Last disappointment: i don't know, it's going pretty well :)
Last soda drank: 7up
Last ice cream eaten: vanilla
Last time wanting to die: maybe a year ago
Last time scolded: my parents wanted me to stay at their place, but i had to get back to vancouver... they didn't appreciate that
Last shirt worn: black blouse
Last website visited: livejournal.com
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[19 Dec 2003|12:10am]
her hand creeps along my arm, further and further down until her fingers can lace themselves between mine. she leans over me while i'm at the computer and i can feel her heartbeat pound against my back.

"katherine," she says.

"yes?"

"nothing."

i think sometimes she just likes to say my name. i like it when she says my name too. she could say it all day as far as i'm concerned. those syllables never sounded sweeter.

"katherine," she says.

"yes?"

"i love you."
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[17 Dec 2003|11:22pm]
[ mood | listless ]

from mellybrelly

Instructions:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.

Read more...Collapse )
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[17 Dec 2003|08:56pm]
i am exhausted and drenched with sweat. every fibre of me is aching, but still i can't help but come crawling back to you for more. so perilous. so dangerous. you pull me into isolated bathroom stalls and push me up against cold tile walls. we're so caught up in action, action, action... i wonder if we'd even know what to do with each other on a quiet day.

ps. rian, call me when you read this. xo.
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[12 Dec 2003|05:19pm]
this love is distressing. it seems as though her name has been embroidered onto my heart for longer than i can remember. i can't even tell you when it was that she first sauntered up to me with a cosmopolitan in her hand and introduced herself, although i remember the moment like it was yesterday... she was all smiles, all whispers, so full of beauty that it seemed to seep out from every pore of her body. i have no memory of what i said or what i did (i still always manage to lose myself whenever she's around), but i remember every motion of her mouth, every blink of her eyelids, every slow smile that spread across her face.

isn't it funny how things work out.
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[07 Dec 2003|11:45pm]
the weather was so dreary today, i had to call in sick to work. i'm always fine with winter once it's in full swing, but not so much at the very beginning.

marlaina's asleep on the couch, breathing softly. her hair is falling around her face in little wisps, she looks like an angel. this is so complicated.

Read more...Collapse )
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[06 Dec 2003|04:29pm]
the chill that comes as the sun fades away
the chill that comes as you slip through my hands

i've never felt so alone
and i've never felt so alive
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[03 Dec 2003|02:47am]
[ mood | tired ]

"That there is nothing to be attained is not idle talk; it is the truth."
-Huang Po
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[28 Nov 2003|11:18am]
[ mood | complacent ]

from mem_sahib

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[24 Nov 2003|01:27pm]
i wish the ferry to nanaimo wasn't so expensive.

although the days may be shorter, the winter months seem so much longer than the summer months. i feel like we've been lodged in november forever. christmas may as well be a lifetime away, and new year's will never come. just keep slogging through the routine over and over again, home to work to darkroom to work to home. there are chemical stains under my fingernails and a weariness in my body that really cannot be healthy. there is SO MUCH TO DO (like find a cheaper way to nanaimo... suggestions?), and i slept all weekend long.
5 comments|post comment

[23 Nov 2003|12:51am]
my body is so tense. i am constantly on edge lately... relaxation is impossible... i feel as though i'm lying in wait for something and i don't know what it is. my school and work and socialisation routines continue their cycles day in and day out, there is no reason to think anything is going to change, but i can feel it in my bones.

the first boy i loved was named alex, and he died last tuesday. i heard the news this afternoon and immediately a cold front fell across my heart. i carry my life's cast with me forever, and though i hadn't heard from alex in months, the news hit very close to home. i can still feel him beneath my palms and taste him on my lips, but for some reason i cannot remember the sound of his voice, and i wish i had thought to bottle up those memories more carefully. all day i've been looking at everyone i meet in a different light, with an urgency i cannot describe.
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